I couldn't resist

I found this on youtube. Enjoy Arkansas fans!

5 Dollar Miller Lites Are Starting to Get a Little Old

Ugh! So here's a good example of why you shouldn't solely view your weekend as "those two days that I get to drink a lot on". I spent both Friday and Saturday night out till around 5 AM. Which was great and fun, but when I finally crashed last night( or should I say yesterday morning) I didn't wake up until 4 PM. Which means I haven't been able to go to sleep at all. On the upside I have been able to catch up on my TBS and TNT movie classics. Thanks Ted Turner!

And I"m back...

Alright, I guess its time to update the old blog. And if you're not bored with nothing better to do, then I highly suggest you quit reading now, cause I have no idea what I'm going to write about which is never a good sign. Umm... for those of you that don't know I'm living New York again. Up until the past two weeks I would have thought that posting that would be redundant but apparently not, because I keep running in people that didn't know I was back. To my credit I did update my myspace and facebook profile upon moving. I even posted a bulletin on myspace, but then again I don't really read those either... unless I'm actually bored enough to want to fill out a survey.

Umm...I saw LCD Soundsystem Saturday and I now believe that James Murphy is probably the best thing happening in rock right now. Arcade Fire headlined and made me remember why I was telling people they were my favorite band a few months ago. Struck up a nice conversation with a pretty cute girl while in line for the port-a-potties. But yeah, didn't really go anywhere from there because we standing in line for the port-a-potties...


Umm...Trying to get sleep last night was god awful as it was way to hot for this time of year and I've never gotten around to buying an effing air conditioner. I won't go into all the details but at one point in the night I woke up and had to grab a towel to put under my back because I had sweat that much. Oh and here's a question. When using the phrase "effing" as a substitute for "fucking" is it correct to use an instead of a? And was anyone else a little shocked when the kids in the last Harry Potter book started throwing that phrase around?

Happy Birthday Nick. I Miss You Little Brother.

Boy, Interrupted

I had a dream last night that was too ridiculous not to write a post about. I found myself committed to a mental hospital and who turns out to be my roommate but none other than Dick Cheney himself. So what's a sitting Vice-President and 26 year old Arkansan to do? A jail break of course. I'm pretty sure Cheney was the Angelina Jolie character. We sneak out of the hospital, steal a car and the vice president drives us to my parents’ house. On the way to my house we had a very tender moment in which I told him that while I hated him as an elected official, he was alright guy. Hey, you might become buddies with a war criminal too if he sprang you from a insane asylum. Anyway, we get to my folks house and go in. Cheney has a sandwich in the kitchen while I talk to my mom about why I was committed in the first place. It turns out that reason I ended up at the funny farm was that I drunkly wandered into the First Baptist Church in Mountain Home and yelled "Budissy." Urbandictionary.com defines this word as:

a descriptive conjunction that means butt-dick-ass-pussy. It is a bad thing. Think the smell of butt, dick, ass, or pussy on a hot summer day of working in the yard.

ex.-That scotch tastes like budissy.

We end up going back to the mental hospital and I end up talking my way out of being committed via an interview over a microphone during some kind of banquet for all the inmates. I'm not sure what ever happened to Cheney but the last thing I saw him doing was happily eating pizza with the rest of the crazies.

The other interesting detail in the dream was that Bush was not the President any longer. Who was? President Matt Price.
I also had a dream involving a very goldie locks situation in which I basically squatted in a house owned by three angry midgets on vacation. Something must have been in the taco bell I ate before bed last night.

The past year

Monday is my day off from the play, so for the past two weeks I’ve been going to see a matinee at the movies. Today I was the only person in the entire theater. I don’t know why but its such a great feeling having a movie all to yourself in such a big place. And the movie was especially good. I’m not sure if anyone else would think it was that great of a movie. The reviews I looked at online weren’t great but they weren’t necessarily bad either. It just really resonated with me. Maybe having the theater to myself had something to do with it. I just saw so much of this past year of my life in it. And the story wasn’t that close to my own, but it felt similar. So as close to home as this movie came, I was still completely able to lose myself in it.

Its hard for me to believe that I’m been back in Arkansas for a year. As fucked up and bad of a year its been, its gone by pretty fast. Well thats not quite fair for me to say; that its been a horrible year. It hasn’t. Well it has and it hasn’t. Its been hardest year of life. I think that’s the best way to describe it. In a period of two months my life changed dramatically. Around this time a year ago I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, and then a month later it did. But somehow I came through it all. And here I am. Slowly stepping out into the world again. And I feel okay. Different. Changed. Not changed for the better or changed for the worse, just changed.

For most of my life I thought that there was some answer out there for me. Some answer that would make me happier. More successful. A better person. I think I’m realizing for the first time in my life that there isn’t an answer. And I’m okay with that. Life’s getting better again. And I’m thankful. And someday the rug will be pulled out from under me just as hard as it did last year. And I’m sure won’t be thankful for that. But I’ll know that the bitterness doesn’t have to last forever.

I’ve had a really hard time every time someone has told be about silver linings, or that there’s a greater good in everything that happens. I just don’t believe that, and even if that kinda thinking made sense to me I would probably still reject it. I don’t believe that everything is chaos and random chance either, I just don’t think that its quite possible to explain or understand it. If I had to sum up what I believe, I would say the the horrible tragic things that happen just make our lives richer. Not better, but fuller. And that there is no answer. Not one that will explain away the bad things and guide us towards that good times. And I can live with that. I can accept that.

My So Called Apology

Ok, so the month of march was not a good month for blogging. I wish I could say I had other things going on but I didn't. In fact most of what did at work all day was think up things to write about in my blog but then I'd get home and think, eh, I'm going to go do some other stuff. And I have been doing other stuff. Ok, I did spend a fair amount of time when I got home, sitting in front of the TV watching Chris Matthews yell at people. Good God how did I ever become such a news junkie?!

So, anyway, I know this is a lame post. I also know that I've been sitting here in bed for the past 2 hours and I really need to quit typing, get in the shower, and start my day.

Oh, and in other news, I moved to Little Rock yesterday.

Neon Bible

Rolling Stone gave Arcade Fire's new album Neon Bible a mediocre review, maybe explaining why I quit subscribing to that magizine when I was 15.

Will Someone Please Tell Dick Cheney to Quit Jumping Out of My Closet in the Middle of the Night!

Isn't This Why I Have My Profile Set to Private?

This is the message I received today on myspace:



From: Danny
http://www.myspace.com/berryvillepimp
Date: Feb 27, 2007 11:23 AM

Subject: Magic: The Gathering

Body: Hello, my name is Danny. I live in Eureka Springs, Ar.
I am looking for more Magic: The Gathering players for my local Saturday gaming group.

Please contact me if you are interested.

Danny Turner
(337)303-XXXX


I mean, I can't believe how many Saturday nights I've been wasting not knowing that there was a regular Magic: The Gathering game only two hour away! Which reminds me...
Click here to read one of the funniest things I've ever read on the internet. Props to Michael Simeone for showing it to me.

Oscar Night!

Because I'm a total nerd and because I'm to hungover to leave the house and watch the oscars at my friend's house I decided I'm going to blogcast the oscars. I'm sure you guys are thrilled.

So far the red carpet stuff is pretty boring. Eddie Murphy keeps bringing up Pluto Nash. Apparently bffs Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts have a lot of fun going to BBQs together. I bet Nicole hogs the ribs. Leo's still crazy for Scorsese, so is Mark Walhberg. Everythings pretty dull so far, but the ceromony is about to start.

7:30 PM

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Alright I have a question, who the hell sits in the second balcony? Is that were everyone who won one of those oscars they give away before the actual award show sit?

7:41 First joke about Peter O'Toole's age.

Ok, that Gospel Choir was just riduclous

So far Ellen's funny but not that funny.

Pan's Labryth wins best art direction, I think that movies still in town. I really want to see it.

I missed that last ten minutes, I've got it tivoing, I'll check it out later.

The bit with the girl from Little Miss Sunshire and Will Smith son was a nice touch. I don't know about the whole presenting the "short" awards gimmick. If that's the joke don't you think midget would be funnier?

Steve Carell and Greg Kinear deliver that best joke of the evening so far, and about sound editing of all things.

Judging from the look on Eddie Murphy's face, he's about as excited about the award for Sound Mixing as you are.

Ah...best supporting actor. I'm cheering for Eddie Murphy, even though I have yet to see Dreamgirls. And it goes to...Alan Arkin. The Academy decides to continue their practice of snubbing comedians. Welcome to Bill Murray's world Eddie. Oh well, Arkin was great in Little Miss Sunshine. "Again with the fucking chicken?!"

8:27

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Looks like they've decided to get all the nominated songs over with in one fell swoop. Probably a good time for a smoke break.

The AL Gore gag was funny but kinda depressing... in a perfect world people who win Presidential elections would go on to be President, not making jokes with Leo at the Oscars

Hom many pills did that guy who won for best adapted sceenplay actually pop before his exceptance speech?

8:58

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Ah...what would costuming be without the live tabteau to show it off, this is almost as ridiculous as the interpretive dance last year for all the best song nominees.

Okay... I'm starting to like Ellen as the host. The Clint Eastwood picture bit just won me over.

Pan's Labyrinth wins another one....I've really got to see this movie.

Robert Downey Jr. makes a joke about his drug history. Well... its not like that isn't the first thing that pop into your mind whenever you see him.

They're really not letting anyone finish their exceptance speeches this go around. Makes me hope Peter O'Toole doesn't win just so I don't have to see him get cut off in mind sentence.

9:26

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Hey! The guy excepting the award for best foreign language film isn't even German!

And why is the music they're using to cut people's speeches off so sad? It sounds like the song for the Increduble Hulk TV show whenever you see Bruce Banner hitchhiking.

Eva Green looks like somekind of vampire bride.

Best Documentary...Lets hope Al Gore wins...and actually does announce his candidacy for President. Hey, a boy can dream right. Yep, he's a winner, even if he isn't a President.

Hey, Clint Eastwood sounds like me when I try and read aloud.

9:54

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I wish they would give me more of a heads up before they bring out Celine Dion. If I had if been prepared I would have had enough time for a proper smoke break.

10:05

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If they are going to do the fast talking gag, can't they get the micromachines guy?

Alright Litle Miss Sunshine wins for best Sceenplay. I really think that it was the best movie I've seen in several years.

That guy that used to be a VJ on MTV just reminded me that I forgot to do an Oscar ballot this year. Oh well.

Did I hear that right? Did they just say that Jennifer Lopez was an excellent reason for high defintion television? Even Jay Leno is classier when he's introducing people than that.

I wish Eddie Murphy would sing during the Dreamgirls song. Apparently he refused. But overall this is much better than what the song porition of the award show is usually like.

10:30

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The Academy says... America is just one big movie montage

I wonder if Scorsese is getting nervous yet?

Shouldn't they have given out the film editing award, like, and hour ago. Maybe they'd save more time is they cut a montage instead of cutting off all the speechs.

10:56

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Ok, I've laid off the dancers that make themselves into shapes because I think they came to Hendrix once. But that gun they made just looked silly

Is it just me or does Reese Witherspoon's chin look a little weird

Forrest Whittaker just gave an excellent acceptance speech.

I swear right after they announced Martin Scorsese name he threw up his hands as if to say, "Well, it's about time!"

11:11

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Departed gets best picture. Thats a bit suprising. It was a great movie and I loved it, but it didn't scream best picture to me. Oh well, what do I know, I'm the one that thinks that Crash sucked.

Overall Impression: Good, but a little bit underwhelming. Last years Oscars were better. Except for the part were Crash won best picture. Sorry, I just really didn't like that movie. Well doing this blogcast was fun. My ass hurts from sitting for so long. I'm going to bed. Night Night.

11:27

Finally, a Reason for Me to Start Online Gaming!

According to an article I read here at slate the other day, apparently the war on terror has spread to the realm of online gaming. I heard about this thing called "Second Life" awhile ago. I think its somekind if online verison of "The Sims", which I played for a for awhile a few years ago until I realized my "sims" lives were even more mundane than my own. After trying to get some kicks torturing and killing the sims I's created, I quickly gave it up for good, realizing that even that wasn't worth all the time it entailed, not nearly as much fun as I had melting, burning, and blowing up G.I. Joes when I was 11. Anyway, these new developments in the fantasical world of "Second Life" might have me changing my mind.

Due to what they see as the powers of commericalism overrunning their 2ndtopia, a group of online gamers calling themselves the "Second Life Liberation Army" have started shooting other Second Lifers as they come out of the big box chains store that have invaded the fantasy world. They're also planting and setting off virtual bombs outside these stores as well. Oh, the horror! All that those innocent gamers want is some bitchin Adidas for their virtual feet. Umm...wait a minute... think I might be with the "terrorists" on this one. Way to go guys, keep virtual bombing or whatever it is you do.

It still sounds pretty lame, but no more lame than lighting G.I. Joe on fire.

Hey...Republicans Don't Flip Flop, They Come To The Right...umm...I Mean the Light

Ahh, how quickly things change after only 6 years. I remember it like yesterday. I stepped on board a magical RV known as "The Straight Talk Express." Some of you might be suprised to discover I was once a staunch supporter of a Republican Presidental Canidate. Imagine my own surprise when I realized there might actually be a Republican out there for me. Well, thank God for George Bush, he might not have done much, but W did keep me from me from voting for a complete douche bag (ok, I did end up voting for Nader in that election).

Seriously, what does this guy actually stand for, I mean besides being President? He was against torture, and now he's for it. Well not for it, but just leaving it to George Bush to decide what "torture" is. Now this...

'McCain in 1999, "I’d love to see a point where it is irrelevant, and could be repealed because abortion is no longer necessary. But certainly in the short term, or even the long term, I would not support repeal of Roe v. Wade, which would then force X number of women in America to [undergo] illegal and dangerous operations."'

McCain 2.0 said...

'STEPHANOPOULOS: Let me ask one question about abortion. Then I want to turn to Iraq. You’re for a constitutional amendment banning abortion, with some exceptions for life and rape and incest.

MCCAIN: Rape, incest and the life of the mother. Yes.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So is President Bush, yet that hasn’t advanced in the six years he’s been in office. What are you going to do to advance a constitutional amendment that President Bush hasn’t done?

MCCAIN: I don’t think a constitutional amendment is probably going to take place, but I do believe that it’s very likely or possible that the Supreme Court should — could overturn Roe v. Wade, which would then return these decisions to the states, which I support.'

p.s. Sorry about the crude photoshop. It took me forever just to figure out how to do that.

Prophecy Alert!

Look out everyone, I might have just had another one of my "famous" prophetic dreams. Sure so far the most significant of these has been the one about the WWF buyout of the WCW, but I refuse to believe its was just a fluke. I did also have one were I sat in on a conference meeting between Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II, and they did die a couple years later... it must mean something.

Anyway, last night I had a dream that Presidente' Bush resigned for the "good of the country." Now I'm not making any predictions here, but if this baby comes true I'm totally signing up for prophecy classes. The dream never mentioned anything about Cheney though. But I do think I might have seen an IV drip full of unicorn blood....

Yay!!! It's Valentine's Day And I'm All Alone!!!

So, remember when Valentine's Day was cool? Like in the 3rd grade. You bought a box of Spider Man valentines, thought about sending a special one to the pretty girl sitting four desk away from you, decided against it, and then spent the last hour of school consuming massive amounts of candy, cake, and sugar water. Ah, those were the days. And then by Junior High that all get ruined with the intoduction of "the carnation." Pink if its for a friend, and red if... its someone thats more than a friend. You wait around all day wondering if you have a secret admirer. Then 2 o'clock rolls around and the carnation girl calls your name...its a red one... and it turns out to be your buddies' joke about the girl you dated at band camp.

Anyway, for anyone that's interested, this Valentine's Day I'm currently living the dream, (well short of going out and making out with a stranger) I'm spending the evening doing nothing. Nothing. Well...besides comsuming a lot of sugar... ah who am I kidding... consume a lot of wine. Hey, I did have a Valentine's Day cookie. Whatever, I'm so living the dream.